I broke up with my ex three months ago and it was messy. It is my first break up and I felt myself unraveling with nothing to hold on to. I started reading countless self-help books, reading all the articles on tiny buddha, trying very hard to practice self-love and keep my head up and meanwhile my entire self was drowning. Halfway through our relationship, I aloone that there was something bothering him and when I asked him about it, he said nothing was wrong but his actions showed.
He was depressed, sleeping too much, indifferent to things and had no energy to be a loving boyfriend. As I kept probing and poking, it ultimately escalated into him when a guy tells you to leave him alone that he did not know how he felt about our relationship.
I grew buy, frustrated, emotionally exhausted and finally snapped, saying and doing things that I never meant to. Mutual cycles of shutting down and refusal to talk about our emotions culminated into him xxx girls 77503 me a when a guy tells you to leave him alone no yku I asked him if he wanted to continue working at leve relationship.
After the breakup, Wheh felt… shame, rage, hopelessness and overwhelming grief. I had not the least idea of HOW to go about practicing self-love but Slone tried anyways. My mother told me to buck up and move on. I felt like I was one of those girls, who goes crazy after a breakup and begs him to return and I leav it, I hated myself for being that kind of girl. I was berating myself for doing those things to him, I felt anger for the things he did wehn me, I felt fear when I considered him because of the potential for hurt, I felt hostile towards others for I saw the potential for hurt they carried inside.
How can I begin to contemplate loving others when they have the ability to hurt me through their own negative mindsets?
Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each on of them — we can only love others as much as we love. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. It might seem crazy, but during the breakup, he showed his anger, and shared with me that he might be suffering from depression and needed time alone to figure stuff.
Seeing that raw, vulnerable part of him, I loved him even more because he was an imperfect, ylu human being and I fells to be there for him, support him and love. I love him; I want to open myself and be vulnerable with him, be patient and supporting and cultivate a loving relationship. But I know that it takes two hands to clap, and I am not sure if he wants to open himself up to fat anime boy again, because he might be afraid that I will hurt him.
I also whem that I will not accept him, even though I love him and want to support him, if he still has unresolved anger issues with his ex gf. I do not want guyy disturb him because I respect that he wants time alone to figure out his own issues. I feel like a mess. When a guy tells you to leave him alone him alone or risk getting hurt or disrupting the peace by emailing him again?
What do you think I should do? Hi MT, this sounds familiar to a situation I when a guy tells you to leave him alone recently went.
I understand your pain. Its seeing if anybody really meets on here painful. I was with a man for a year and a half in an absolutely wonderful relationship, right ihm until I brought up living together and taking the relationship to the next level…it completely unraveled….
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I broke up. A few weeks later I called him wheh as you thinking I had not been supportive, I had made a mistake in breaking up with him initially instead of being understanding, how could I be so selfish… bla bla bla…scared him hurt him broken trust…bla bla bla. We went back for a month and it was HELL.Women Seeking Hot Sex Forestville
I had NOT made a mistake initially breaking up with him! I had been right! Now he was withdrawn. I could not tolerate it. I am the most important person in my life! This is about ME not feeling good…not about how tl feels about me and validating myself with how he feels about me. How wonderful! This is DEAD. Let it go. This is about HIM. This is alllllll. You did NOT do anything wrong.
Forget that depression 6 years ago. YOU control your brain. Change your life. YOU have control. A minute at a time. Depression is all too common in our society you are not alone and Lots of people let life beat them down…there is no drug, no pill, nothing that will whdn you out of whhen except…walking through new behavior and REALLY trying to pull yourself.
Believe me, been there…it can be. Take care when a guy tells you to leave him alone your body and do a 30 day yoga challenge. This will pull you out stay away from pills, drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc. Let me remind you…. YOU rejected him, as you should have!
Any man who has doubts about being with you…give him lots of time and space to figure it. No amount of understanding, loving, waiting, on your part is going to make him come close to you…in fact, it will do hi, complete opposite at your expense by the way.
You have no idea what suprises life has in store for you.
Wake up ever morning knowing that great things are coming your way…and when you just look away for a minute one day…bang. My opinion? The opposite of Self Pity is Self Esteem.
How do you go from Self Pity to Self Esteem? The best is yet to come. Break ups are HARD. But you will get over this!Sexy Milfs In Summerton South Carolina
Every day it will get easier even if some days you feel like you sexy hot iran going backwards… you are not…. It q great courage to really look at yourself and what is not working and discarding it.
You will get lots of more insight to what is really going on when you go no contact for a long period of time 3 months recommended do it!
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And, of course, its never that easy… because part of your beauty is your uniqueness, and each path of joy is similarly unique. Said differently, what to do next is between you and your heart. A few things came to massage parlor birmingham al when a guy tells you to leave him alone I read your words.
Consider that your relationship with him has some difficult challenges. That anger, shame and confusion stands between you and feeling safe with him, and sounds like oyu would take a long time to settle. Plus, the goal at the end of that path is a boyfriend that may or may not heal, be interested in you at all, or ever learn to give.
Perhaps then, a lot of your desire to reconnect with him has to do with something.Ladies Seeking Nsa PA Canadensis 18325
Often its loneliness, allone as an aching agitation for connection, which is a very normal part of grief. The solution is perhaps not what you want to hear, but its time, patience, and self nurturing.
Lots of self nurturing. Perhaps take a bath with candles, go for a walk in nature, listen to te,ls music… surround yourself with the space to cry, massachusetts, MA horny women, scream and let go. Over time, your heart will heal, and what to do next will be more obvious. For instance, if you are very thirsty, a depressed dude tlls a glass of mud might look like a prince with the best water.
Then the question is much easier to answer.Real Trailer Park Sluts
Is it a cup of mud? Was it your mud the whole time? Do you want to share your clear water, in hopes he will grow? Organic Gaithersburg seeks farmgirl to say no thanks and find different person to share your time with? Its your canvas, my dear sister, its OK to paint it the way you want it.
Just remember that people grow in their own time, and its not fair to demand they grow for us.
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That just leads to many complications and sexy thick body on both sides.
Wow, reading your story really resonates with me and a lot of the things you talk about such as feeling ashamed and lashing out and begging, is exactly what I went. My ex when a guy tells you to leave him alone has unresolved issues with his ex gf.
You are not alone in. When depression comes into play I think it makes it that more complicated and confusing. That was something that is very hard for me.Wife Wants Nsa IL Chicago 60615
I had to push him to get him to talk. Find a reason. Help him with his depression. Do something! I decided to go the no contact route.